Words of wisdom from the military

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." 

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." 

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo" 

"You, you, and you . Panic. The rest of you, come with me." 

"Tracers work both ways"

"Five second fuses only last three seconds."

"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything."

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."

"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." -
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."

"If the wings are travelling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe." 

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... The pilot dies." 

"Never trade luck for skill." 

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh Shit!" 

"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."

"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."

"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!" 

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." 

"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal." 


As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"

Rockin Dave - Mister Boogie Woogie -Midnight Rock